My Husband’s Affair Became the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me is Anne and Brian’s gut-honest journey from devastation to a stronger marriage on the other side. They do not gloss over reality, nor offer sugar-coated solutions that sound good in theory but would never work in real life.
Why Anne Wrote It
After finding out Brian had been unfaithful, Anne went to a bookstore searching for help. (The internet was just catching on in 2000.) She remembers wearing a hooded sweatshirt and dark sunglasses, afraid someone in her town might recognize her. Never in a million years would she have asked a salesperson for help.
She found two books that dealt with “a marriage in crisis.” Nothing that dealt specifically with affairs. She was grateful for what she found — but there were times she wanted to throw the books at the wall and scream: “Don’t give me this how-to theory from someone who learned about it in university! Give me the true-life story of someone who has actually been through this! Does anyone know how I feel?”
So she wrote the book she couldn’t find at the time, but needed so desperately.
What Makes This Book Different
As a couple recovering from marital betrayal, emotions tend to be heightened and it becomes very difficult to say what you really need to say — and even more difficult to get your spouse to listen and understand. Many couples escalate and become defensive.
This book offers a better way to talk to each other. It’s not a “how-to” book — it’s their story. Reading it together, you can improve the impact of your own conversations by shifting them to third person. You may find yourself saying, “I agree with Brian when he said…” or “Anne was wrong when…” — and indirectly you are talking about yourself, but it’s palatable because you’re not saying “you are wrong.”
What the Book Does for You
- Helps you realize you are not going crazy after all.
- Gives you hope that you can and will get through this.
- Helps the unfaithful partner grasp the magnitude of the damage caused.
- Offers tremendous comfort as you realize you are not alone.
- Helps you understand both perspectives — betrayed and unfaithful.
- Helps both partners gain a realistic perspective of the healing journey.
- Helps you avoid painful mistakes.
- Sheds light on your own situation.
- Tells you how to prevent future affairs.
- Offers an impactful summary of the lessons learned.
- Addresses the impact upon the children.
- Explores whether you should talk to the other woman or other man.
- Includes Brian’s letters to Anne during their healing journey — a rare window into the mind of the unfaithful partner.
What Readers Are Saying
“Riveting… Mesmerizing… I couldn’t put the book down.”
A Reader
“A must-read before couples facing infidelity make life decisions they may later regret. This book provides an alternative to the expected… hope that it’s not over.”
Don Huston, BTh, MC, RCC, Couples Therapist
“This book makes a wonderful contribution to the growing willingness of couples to break the code of silence and share their experience with affairs in order to help others. It offers clear insight into the pain involved as well as great hope for the power to recover and rebuild the marriage.”
Peggy Vaughan, Author of The Monogamy Myth
“For too long too many have suffered in silence because of the stigma associated with affairs. This book gives an honest look at the reality of betrayal and offers hope through the testimony of one brave couple.”
Margie Thaler
“After reading their story, I see Anne and Brian as champions of honesty, commitment, perseverance, and true love.”
Monica Columbus