At the age of 25, I married the most dynamic, handsome, interesting man I’d ever met, and was on top of the world. He was fun, charismatic, a compelling speaker and I knew my life would be full of adventure. On the outside, we lived a life that many envied, living in beautiful homes, travelling the world, boating on the weekends and enjoying life to the fullest with our two beautiful sons. We had the influence, the parties, the ministry and plenty of laughs, but on the inside, there was the proverbial pink elephant in the living room scenario: unresolved conflicts, unmet needs, and unhealed hurts. And nobody was talking about it. We were living a lie.
My husband was a motivational speaker and evangelist who impacted thousands of people across the world and I worked alongside of him. One day, he impacted my life in a way that I never would have imagined in a million years. My husband of 35 years went off the deep-end and had a 5 month affair with a much younger woman.
I think a Nazi concentration survivor said it best, “In Dachau, we wanted to live. When my husband had an affair, I wanted to die.”
To say that I was devastated, confused, horrified and embarrassed was an understatement, and yet I still wanted to salvage my marriage. However, it takes two to make a marriage work, and he wasn’t interested in getting help. He wanted things to remain the same and refused to go for counseling. With a broken heart, I realized that I was the only one who desired the relationship and our marriage ended in divorce. A year later, he married another much younger woman and is married to her to this day.
Welcome to injustice, when life isn’t fair. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. Everything I knew about myself and life was in question. I remember being on the floor in the fetal position, unable to cope with anything, unable to eat, unable to face the world.
The pain went deeper, when I found out he had squandered much of our financial resources with poor business decisions. I was emotionally devastated, financially strapped, and completely unequipped for a new life alone. This was not supposed to happen to me. This was not in my plan. This was not how I expected my life to turn out. I had no idea what to do next, where to turn, who to trust. I will not tell you it was easy. It was not…but I determined not to give up. I determined to forgive, to let go of the past, to heal, and to hold on to hope.
Today, eight years later – I am enjoying my life and feel more alive than I have ever been! I am loving being a grandma to 6 adorable ‘grand-angels’, enjoying making memories with my family, deep relationships with friends, living on the beach, and travelling internationally to speak and share my story. The pain is gone – and I have great hope for tomorrow. I am so thankful to work alongside Anne & Brian Bercht with Passionate Life Seminars and to spend time everyday coaching women from all over the world who are serious about living free and whole, and most of all, to get to watch broken hearts heal and lives transform.
I know from the hundreds of stories I have heard from clients and from my own personal experience, that you may be feeling fear, worthlessness, rejection, abandonment and overwhelming anxiety with no ability to cope at this moment. You may not even know what to do in the next 5 minutes, and you have no idea what to do next.
I also know that deep inside you want to conquer that fear, and I promise you, that if you show up for yourself and do the steps, if you are honest and if you do not give up – you will come out of this process and you will discover strength you did not know you had. You will feel renewed hope to dream, to love and to feel deeper than you have ever felt before.
I look forward to meeting you and walking with you as you write your story from here. I promise to encourage you everyday – to not give up on you. The first step is often the most difficult. Let’s get started today. Call 360-306-3367 to book your consultation.
Also, If you desire to be reconciled in your marriage – my desire is to come alongside you and your spouse to build a strong foundation of forgiveness, to facilitate honest communication, and a safe environment for you both. I always say, “You want out of the pain, not out of the marriage.” Every life and every marriage is unique, however there are principles that will reach the heart to bring you through the devastation and fear, to hope, healing and a fulfilling life on the other side.