Workplace affairs & other questions

August 10, 2010 – Surviving Infidelity

1. What is self-respect?

2. Dealing with workplace affairs … how do you heal when your spouse is still working with their affair partner?

3. When I talk to my unfaithful spouse about my need to heal, he rolls his eyes and gets aggravated, telling me I need to just get over it. How do I get him to understand my needs in healing? How do I get him to participate with me in the healing journey?

4. My marriage has failed, but I still struggle with thoughts of desiring for it to be restored. How do I get beyond longing for my marriage to be restored … hoping it will be one day? How do I deal with these thoughts?

5. Final important thoughts on healing.

Do you have some advice for workplace affairs? Do you have some tips on how to deal with that? This is a daily struggle for my husband and I.

When a person has to keep working in the place where the AP is, it is definitely more difficult to heal a marriage, but it is doable.

When people say they can’t leave their job, I like to challenge that. We have a lot of freedom in America. I have a hard time grasping the fact that someone so greatly lacks talent, that no other company in all of America would be interested in hiring them.

I’m just making a point that you do actually have options. It’s important to see that.

I do understand that you may be fairly senior in your career, and it may be difficult to find a job with equal seniority somewhere else, but it is not impossible.

When an unfaithful spouse says to their husband or wife, “honey, I need you to know that you are more important to me than my job. I would be willing to leave my job for you. I would be willing to pump gas if that’s what it takes. I am afraid to leave my job, because I am afraid I may not be able to provide for our family, like we are now, but if that’s what you want me to do, I will do it. It would radically change our lifestyle, but I would be willing to do that you. You are more important to me than my job.

In most cases, being included in the choice, changes everything for the betrayed. And the betrayed partner is also concerned about income. They may decide that they want you to stay, but including them in the choice, makes all the difference, as opposed to saying, “you just need to be reasonable and deal with this. I have no choice.” Or worse saying, “I will not leave my job for you.”

By including your partner in the decision you in essence are saying, “You and me babe. We’re a team. We are making these decisions together. You and me against the world.”

Principle #1 – If you need to work with your affair partner, it is still good to see that there was a choice.

There is lots more to this question. Click on the audio link above to start listening now!