Obstacles to Affair Recovery with Anne and Brian Bercht

February 21, 2017 – Teleseminar on obstacles to healing and how to overcome them by Anne and Brian Bercht

This is an amazing teleseminar where Brian and Anne Bercht share the obstacles to affair recovery and more importantly how to overcome these obstacles.  Listen and learn on how to overcome the obstacles you are facing today in your own healing journey whether you are the betrayed or unfaithful.

Some of those obstacles shared during this teleseminar are:

Not Telling Truth – This is about lying about the facts or the evidence or denial.

Solutions: Own up to these! Tell the Truth NOW.

Partial Disclosures – Trickle-Truth. This has to do with making a judgment as to what you think your spouse can handle, or what you think that they need to know.

Solutions: Acknowledge what has been withheld, or what has been judged ‘too big’ to disclose, or what is STILL not been told. You may need to find someone to help you with this like a coach/counselor..  Special Word of Caution: It is highly unlikely that anyone will be able to sit down and spell out the entire affair story, beginning to the end.

Over-Sharing – This comes for the unfaithful person spilling or puking out everything about the affair without being thoughtful or considerate about their spouse.

Solutions: Sadly, one can’t take back the words that have been said, or remove the images that have been shared, or emotions that have been expressed.  The thing needed is acknowledging the wrong and seeking forgiveness. 

Beliefs about Affairs – What gets in the way of healing can be our beliefs in why an affair happens or what affairs mean.

Solutions: Be willing to be objective about your own beliefs.  Listen to our pod-casts and hear what others have shared about their ‘whys’ and do some coaching or attending one of our seminars to really learn and understand the truth about why affairs happen.

Beliefs about Staying – The belief that staying in a marriage after a betrayal is a sign of weakness.

Solutions: One will need to combat these negative and harmful thought processes. Identify with those men and women that have successfully recovered and remained happily married.

Lack of Tools – Not having tools and resources that are practical, time tested, measurable, and reliable.

Solutions: Get tools that work. Participate in our Healing From Affairs weekend seminar to pick up your tool kit if you are healing your marriage and Take Your Life Back weekend seminar for betrayed women, whether you are working on your relationship or not as it can take the betrayed longer to heal.

Frantic Fixing – The trauma of discovery/disclosure leads many to rush out and look for anything and everything to help them deal with the pain and fix the problem.

Solutions: Relax, Slow Down, Take a Breath, Quit Hurrying! Then, take time to find out ‘whom’ you are really listening to, and what ‘their’ background is. Find the ones that you relate to and seek out their help. 

Poor Counsel – Listening and following advise from unqualified or unproven sources, be those paid or unpaid.

Solutions: Find a therapist/coach/counselor/mentor that has proven experience in this particular specialty. 

One-sided Work – Often this is about focusing all the work on helping the betrayed spouse to heal, while neglecting or overlooking the work necessary for the unfaithful partner to heal.

Solutions: While it may be necessary for some individual work to occur, it is important and a necessity that both partners to engage in the work of recovery.          

Expectations – These expectations, some reasonable and some unreasonable are often the factors that get in the way of healing. Expectation of where a person should be by this time; expectations of how one should be acting at this time; expectations of how one should feel, respond, engage, talk, share, divulge.

Solutions: Be careful to avoid comparing your situation to others. Set reasonable expectations, ones that are manageable and achievable. 

Time – Healing requires a certain amount of time. There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to the length of time needed to heal, only generalities.

Solutions: Set reasonable and measurable time frames.  Get help to figure this out.

The Berchts share about this and much more and end the call with some questions.  Maybe the exact question you have was asked on this teleseminar.

It is our desire to help you overcome the obstacles to affair recovery.  Please call us at 360-306-3367 or email us at info@beyondaffairs.com and let us help you through your process…we can help you avoid these obstacles and find the hope and healing you want and deserve.