When the wife cheats, there are some dynamics that are different than when a husband cheats.
Todd & Teresa, Becky & Leonard. 2 couples honestly share their affair-healing journeys on this teleseminar. Find out why healing starts when the full truth is out, even though the one who had the affair is often reluctant to share the whole truth because they are concerned that it will hurt the betrayed partner too much. To really learn how to make it “safe” for the full truth to come out, we strongly recommend attending the “Healing From Affairs” intensive for couples.
We want to help people recover from affairs, and we don’t want it to take any longer or be any harder than it already is.
Todd and Teresa (Teresa had the affair)
Todd: We have been married for 8 years and have a 5 year old son. I found out about Teresa’s affair in 2011 (2 years ago). We went for counseling for 6-7 months. We talked about it, but it wasn’t really discussed openly, and it was just this past Februray that we attended Healing from Affairs.
Teresa: We went to one counselor who specialized in couples in crisis. But it was extremely one-sided, and I was constantly referred to as “the betrayer.” It made me feel worse. So we stopped going to the counselor and tried to grin and bear it, but that wasn’t working either. Things have been vastly different since we went to the surviving affairs weekend.
Becky and Leonard (Leonard had the affair)
Becky: The discovery of the affair was February of 2010. After discovery, I thought we were working toward seeing if our marriage could survive. Then in June, I discovered the affair had been ongoing. The counseling helped somewhat, but disclosure wasn’t something Leonard was willing to do. Leonard was totally disconnected by October of that year. I was struggling with self-esteem issues – wondering “why did he stay?” We desperately needed help.
Leonard: We’ve been married for 35 years now. At the time it was 32 years. The affair lasted about 1 year. After the affair ended, we had a lot of trouble getting to the right counselor and making progress. Once we came to your seminar we started to make a little traction in healing. It gave me confidence and tools to answer questions that sometimes, as the betrayer, you are afraid to answer.
Anne: Leonard, were you afraid to tell the truth?
Leonard: Most of us have the misconception that we will will do more damage by telling the truth. As the one who had an affair, you feel that by answering questions and saying things that seem so hideous, it will damage the relationship more. But as you pointed out, as bad as the answers are, it is better than the betrayed spouse not knowing.
To find out the rest of the story click on the link above to listen!