Category Archives: Affair Recovery

How do I change my spouse? How do I change my spouse ?  At the beginning of every Healing from Affairs Intensive Weekend for couples in affair recovery, where couples receive a roadmap and all the tools to navigate their own journey, and make good decisions, whether that means staying or going … we know that almost […]

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How do you know if there is hope for your marriage after betrayal? – A discussion with Brian & Anne Bercht, and some of the people they have worked with. There is always hope for your marriage after betrayal if both people are willing to give the marriage a chance and do their own part […]

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We imagine our beloved in the arms of another and we wince … We find ourselves plagued with murderous thoughts. We think about our now scarred marriage and wonder if we can ever be happy again. We beat ourselves up, convincing ourselves that we must be inadequate in some way that this has happened to […]

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Seventeen years ago (May 15, 2000) I walked through what was (up until just recently), the darkest time of my life. Like a caterpillar goes into a dark cocoon (for what seems like forever at the time), so I seemed to be surrounded in unrelenting darkness, wondering if it was even sane to believe I […]

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Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do. – Pope John XXIII “To give up. God! What a bell of freedom that […]

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QUESTION: Should I fight for my marriage? … or would doing so weaken my position? And perhaps even set me up for continued abuse? ANNE’S ANSWER: Okay, so let’s say, the person you love, has gone off the deep end and has not only acted unfaithfully, but above and beyond that is being mean in unthinkable ways. […]

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Dear Anne – I keep reading that I should “work on myself,” but my spouse is the one who had the affair! They are the one with the problem. Why should I do the work? I think they should be the one working on them. Why should I work on myself? – My spouse had […]

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AFFAIR RECOVERY STEPS, 10 PRINCIPLES OF SUCCESS IN AFFAIR RECOVERY As long as we live our lives circumstantially, reacting to the latest thing that happens, we find ourselves uncertain what to do next, and making a pile of mistakes. The key is to learn the principles, and apply the principle to the situation.   Principle # […]

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The role reading can play in Getting Past an Affair Situation #1 Dear Anne… about counselors – after my last two sessions, I came away feeling not only emotionally depleted (which I think is normal) but also very uncertain about my marriage… when I thought that I had already made a decision to stay in […]

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Question: Every little thing still triggers the affair & I still see them together in my head. When will it stop? My husband is doing a lot of what he needs to, to repair our relationship. I still cry all the time. How long does it take to heal from an affair? Answer: Affair recovery […]

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