In Memory of BAN’s Founder, Peggy Vaughan.
Peggy Vaughan, author of Beyond Affairs and The Monogamy Myth, passed away peacefully at her home on Nov. 8, 2012.
I, and thousands of others, will be eternally grateful for Peggy Vaughan and her bold, honest, and pioneering work in helping the world recover from affairs. If only I had found her during my own recovery, my journey would’ve been less painful. Once I did recover, I thought, “something is wrong with our world, this is such a common problem, and nobody is addressing it.” But I was wrong. One lone soldier was daring to go where no woman had gone before.
So I decided I would write the book, I so desperately needed, but couldn’t find. I went looking for a mentor to help me, and I read about an amazing woman in USA Today, who had indeed, already written the book I needed, the Vaughan story, Beyond Affairs. I immediately ordered and devoured this book, and found the amazing support organization – BAN – Beyond Affairs Network, which Peggy had founded. I wasted no time in signing up to lead the first group in Western Canada. Looking back, I suppose I was naïve. I had no idea where this would lead me. In a short period of time, I found myself buried in letters from wounded souls ranging as far geographically as British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan, and Washington State. Now they come to me every day from all over the world.
Even more profoundly, my path had now crossed paths with one of the most intelligent, wise, brave, strong and giving women I could ever hope to know. She became my mentor. She paid it forward. Like an Olympic runner, she passed the torch, and now it is my turn to run. Because of Peggy, we’ve reached thousands more. Without the foundation of Peggy’s work, I would never have accomplished a fraction of what I have. Peggy planted a seed for a work of healing and prevention of affairs. So it is with an awesome awareness of my responsibility that I now run with the torch she passed on to me.
Her goal was for BAN to become as commonly known about and available as other major support groups such as Al-Anon, so that in the future no betrayed spouse need ever suffer in isolation. Because of Peggy, I run, building on what she began, and God willing, we will make it happen. Peggy goes down in history with others who dared to make personal sacrifices, to stand for something so that future generations would experience freedom past generations never did.
I believe Peggy’s impact on the world equals that of George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr. and others like them. She lived for something greater than herself, and her legacy will live on. In the end, the children of the world win. They win because Peggy’s work causes marriages to win. When marriages win, families win. And when families are strong, the nation is strong. Peggy’s work will live on, and generations to come will be better because of the work she began. We love you Peggy!
- Anne Bercht, BAN’s new leader, host of beyondaffairs.com, author of My husband’s Affair Became the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me
In keeping with Peggy’s generous spirit, her work lives on through Peggy Vaughan’s legacy website, http://www.dearpeggy.com