For the Betrayed Partner

thinking2We know that dealing with your spouses’ affair is one of the hardest things you could ever be going through, but you are not alone. We are here to help!

Whether you are a betrayed woman or a betrayed man, there are lots of resources here on this website to help you. Please find below, first a segment of special links to pages that apply especially for you as the betrayed partner, whether you are a man or a woman, then a section especially for betrayed wives and finally a section especially for betrayed husbands.

As the betrayed partner, it is normal for your emotions to be all over the place. This is an emotional trauma you are dealing with. You may feel like you are losing your mind. It can be comforting to know your reactions are normal given what you are going through. In our book, My Husband’s Affair Became the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me, I described the battle I was fighting in my mind like this:

“I tried to control my thoughts that night, while lying in bed beside my emotionally distant husband, but they raced on out of control, like a racecar doing circles around a track with no finish line.”

(If our book title makes you angry, we understand. Please read, How could I give my book such an outrageous title?)

Because your mind is probably in overdrive trying to figure this all out, you need to find help regarding what’s troubling you most, first. You need answers to your many questions. So let me share a few hints with you regarding what is available on this site.

  1. There are more than 100 articles I’ve written answering the questions you are most likely to have here. On the left side bar, it lists the main topics, and when you slide your cursor over that topic, all the articles written on that topic appear. Click on any article and start reading. They are all free.
  2. We have also recorded more than 50 audio seminars covering the steps to healing, interviews with couples who have made it, as well as interviews with people who divorced and have still found ways to recover from the pain and heal. (Just scroll down to audio in the left side bar.)
  3. You really do need to order a copy of our book, available in hard copy or audio for immediate download. Because we care, we have made so much available for you for free, but we really did put the best information in our book.
  4. If you need to talk to someone right away, just call our office 360-306-3367. We offer affair recovery coaching sessions, and we can get you scheduled in to talk with someone right away.
  5. You can get involved with BAN – Beyond Affairs Network, which is our sister non-profit organization and offers local face-to-face confidential peer support groups at no charge.
  6. If you really want help fast, please consider attending one of our intensive weekend seminars: Passionate Life Seminars. After what you are going through, you really do deserve to get this kind of intensive help and tools to help you avoid common errors and get you well on your way to recovering from this mess now.

General Information for the Betrayed Partner

How could he/she do this to me? – Betrayed partners ask

How do I overcome my obsessive thoughts?

Information specifically for Betrayed Wives

How do you motivate your husband to talk? 

Information specifically for Betrayed Husbands

Cheating Wives – When the wife has the affair

 When the wife had the affair – gender differences between men & women