Category Archives: Affair Recovery

Seventeen years ago (May 15, 2000) I walked through what was (up until just recently), the darkest time of my life. Like a caterpillar goes into a dark cocoon (for what seems like forever at the time), so I seemed to be surrounded in unrelenting darkness, wondering if it was even sane to believe I […]   Read more »

Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do. – Pope John XXIII “To give up. God! What a bell of freedom that […]   Read more »

QUESTION: Should I fight for my marriage? … or would doing so weaken my position? And perhaps even set me up for continued abuse? ANNE’S ANSWER: Okay, so let’s say, the person you love, has gone off the deep end and has not only acted unfaithfully, but above and beyond that is being mean in unthinkable ways. […]   Read more »

Dear Anne – I keep reading that I should “work on myself,” but my spouse is the one who had the affair! They are the one with the problem. Why should I do the work? I think they should be the one working on them. Why should I work on myself? – My spouse had […]   Read more »

AFFAIR RECOVERY STEPS, 10 PRINCIPLES OF SUCCESS IN AFFAIR RECOVERY As long as we live our lives circumstantially, reacting to the latest thing that happens, we find ourselves uncertain what to do next, and making a pile of mistakes. The key is to learn the principles, and apply the principle to the situation.   Principle # […]   Read more »

The role reading can play in Getting Past an Affair Situation #1 Dear Anne… about counselors – after my last two sessions, I came away feeling not only emotionally depleted (which I think is normal) but also very uncertain about my marriage… when I thought that I had already made a decision to stay in […]   Read more »

Question: Every little thing still triggers the affair & I still see them together in my head. When will it stop? My husband is doing a lot of what he needs to, to repair our relationship. I still cry all the time. How long does it take to heal from an affair? Answer: Affair recovery […]   Read more »

Question: I’m curious about the stages of healing from infidelity. For instance, after the meltdowns subside (1 week free!), what do I have to look forward to next? Answer: The steps of progression are not universal or the same for everyone. To a large degree they depend on the work you are or aren’t doing. […]   Read more »

The word focus means the concentration of attention or energy on something. Based on the definition and life experiences, whatever you focus on will get bigger. Charles Dickens said “Reflect upon your blessings, of which every man has plenty, not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” That is just another way […]   Read more »

…explains a few things that go on for those of us who have been betrayed. No, we are not losing our minds. There are scientific explanations with regards to how the brain functions that explain things like feeling that we can’t think straight, triggers, emotional hijackings and irrational behavior. “Anyone can become angry – that […]   Read more »